Are you getting enough touch? 3 ways to meet your needs and boost your life What is Touch and Why is Touch important? “To touch is to give life” said Michelangelo. Physical touch is a vital aspect of our life, health and communication. Research shows that physical touch contributes to animal and human development in an essential way. A new-born that is not receiving touch will struggle to grow healthy while a baby who gets a lot of touch will have a reinforced immune system and a significantly higher chance to thrive in life. In education, as little as a pat on the shoulder can encourage participation and learning substantially compared to a no-touch environment. Furthermore, touch provides you with Oxytocin, the happy hormone. Oxytocin diminishes stress. It creates a feel good effect in the body, providing relaxation and a sense of safety. It is also called the bonding hormone, responsible for creating attachment between a mum and her child for example. The lack of touch can contribute to a sense of isolation, non-belonging, depression and self-loathing. And finally, touch is also a direct way to communicate emotions and particularly positive emotions like love and compassion. The skin and tissues are so sensitive that you can pick up the vibe you are receiving very easily. Receiving physical touch can reach and touch you very deeply. Are you receiving enough touch on a daily basis? In our Western culture, we are on average very touch deprived. A study in the 60’s counted that friends having a conversation in a cafe in England might touch as little as zero times during their meeting, compared to 110 times in France, 180 in Puerto Rico. Hopefully this has evolved a bit, but it speaks enough to say that, in the UK, you might struggle to get enough touch if you are not actively creating opportunities for it. Even in a romantic relationship, physical touch might be reduced to intercourse and you might not get the full range of satisfying or nurturing touch. If you are fortunate, family and friends can be a great source of touch. In my family, there was little touch when I was growing up and I did miss it. Today, my daily practices and body of work include touch which means I have made sure that I exchange touch regularly. So, how can you get your needs met in regards to touch? 3 ways of getting your physical touch needs met. #3 Self-pampering or... How to get touch on a desert island? Here are three ways you might want to practice self-pampering: #3 Home Spa Water is a great lover. Be it a warm bath, a steam room or a dip in the sea, water will meet you all over and leave you refreshed and renewed. Add a gentle self-massage to it with your favourite balm and... mmmh just thinking about it, doesn’t it make you feel more relaxed and at peace? #2 Gentle touch Have you become last on your priority list? Learn to give yourself gentle loving touch. You probably are either more of a receiver or more of a giver, which means to do both at the same time might appear a bit of a challenge. Yet, gently caressing your own cheek, forearm and your whole body will, once passed the challenge, create a renewed relationship with yourself, making space for more self-love and self-acceptance. #1 Slowing down Slow Down. Bring your attention to this moment and make every moment become a sensual experience. Walk bare feet on the earth, become more of your tactile self and let your hands meet nature and objects around you. Revisit your to-do list with a mindful sensual approach. Turn what was a washing-up duty into a luxurious delight of sensations. Be curious, and you might be surprised of how good and fulfilling it can feel of Being Alive! #2 You’re not alone or... Hurray there is life on your island! Here are 3 ways to reaching out for what you need! #3 Find a cat Is there a cat on your island? Cats provide great 4-paws massage and their purring is the best tension reliever. Jerry is a great master to me about reaching out for what I want: she never fails to let me know when it’s caress time, particularly when I have gone into “work mode”. Plus, she is great at letting me know without shame what she likes and what she doesn’t like. Caressing a cat will provide you with great returns in relaxation and delicious sensations. Be careful... It might open your heart too. #2 Find a professional Professional massage will bring you relaxation and relief of tensions. Some practices like Shiatsu and Thai Massage will re-balance your energy too. There is a lot on offer, and it’s great if you can get a recommendation. Some professionals also offer tantra massage, that will encompass all of your body parts and leave you with a renewed sensuality and life energy. #1 Find a friend Exchange a hug for three long synchronised breaths (not the A-frame type of hug, more the full belly kind of hug), it will recharge your batteries for a good while. The lovely thing about touch is that as you give physical contact, you also receive physical contact. And on top of that, it’s great for bonding, creating trust and closeness and it is a great way to show love and compassion. 3 to 5 of those hugs a day and you’ll be a much healthier happier you. Your love partner might be open to explore new ways of touch with you too. This could bring a totally new spicy life to your relationship. #1 We’re in this together or... More of us have come home to the fact that touch is vital part of life. Here are 3 places to look for to get your needs met. #3 Dancing Movement and dance can provide you with a lot of quality touch. Pick your favourite! With most partner dances, like Tango or Salsa, you will be in close touch with your dance partner and learn new skills at the same time! Among my best recommended practices, Contact Improvisation is a playful form of dance revolving around giving each other weight following a rolling point of contact. And, my favourite practice, Sensitive Dance invites you to slow down to feel the movements within and bring awareness to surfaces of contact moment by moment. This conscious movement practice invites you to listen and give presence to each other through physical touch. #2 Touch therapy Become an expert. Why not join a massage training course near you for example? You will give and receive lots of touch during the training. Just giving touch also helps to release oxytocin. And being able to give a massage puts you in an ideal place for a massage exchange, do you see what I am touching on here? It works for me! Alternatively, join a group of free huggers! #1 Conscious touch Increasingly, people are choosing to meet with like-minded people in a safely held environment in order to explore a broader range of touch, whether it is through tantra (see Living Tantra) or other practices like Cuddle workshops. The advantage of a held space is that you meet like-minded people. Another advantage is that it offers great conditions for you to explore physical touch at your own pace outside of your habitual context with the support of a facilitator. This is why I call it Conscious Touch. From my own experience, a workshop providing a safe space for exploration is a great way for participants to overcome barriers, reconnect with themself and make new connections that will support them on their journey. It is to provide such spaces that I have created Slowing-Down, offering workshops and retreats (like Being Alive) where I share my favourite somatic practices, anchored in body awareness. It is also why Rob McGhee and myself have come together and created Conscious Touch Bristol with a workshop coming up soon in April So, what are the main ingredients that make up for a great Conscious Touch experience? Inviting sensuality – the realm of the Body: Allow yourself to feel. Receive the information from your body of all the sensations coming to you and how it is touching you. Enjoyable, voluptuous, energising, tingly, laughter creating, ecstatic, relaxing, soft... be curious of what it might tell you. And feel how much more alive you’ve already become. Inviting intimacy – the realm of the Heart: Allow yourself to know and share yourself. Intimacy starts within, from acknowledging what is happening, letting yourself be touched by your experience, daring to be vulnerable and communicating from that place. This courageous way of being will create deeper connections and increase trust, which in turn are necessary ingredients for safety and respected boundaries. Inviting Playfulness – the realm of the Spirit: Allow yourself to be spacious and light. Live your experience fully. Be curious about the places you get stuck, the patterns already visited, the hidden parts and challenge yourself, trusting the process of living. Conscious Touch Inviting the Sensual, the Intimate and the Playful Is a one-day workshop packed with fun, insightful, challenging practices that will leave you more aware and in touch with yourself and others. Be in touch! Yours sincerely, Uma www.slowing-down.com P.S. We want to make it a great offer for you so if you book Conscious Touch by 1st April you will enjoy the early bird price! About the author: Uma Laurence Clapdorp Related articles and links: Hands On Research: The Science of Touch by Dacher Keltner Are You Getting Enough Physical Contact? By Daniel Dowling |
0 Comments
|
AuthorUma Laurence Clapdorp ArchivesCategories
All
|